Guns, Not Dildos?

DAME Magazine has an article online about the Troy King vs. Loretta Nall sex toys controversy in Alabama that is at once hilarious and disturbing:

Alabama vs. Dildos

A quote from the article:

While selling a handgun to a child is a trivial crime in Alabama punishable by no more than a $500 fine, violators of the dildo ban are subject to one year of prison or hard labor as well as a $10,000 fine.

In other words, Alabama lawmakers deemed that G-spot stimulators in the hands of consenting adults are more of a threat to public safety and welfare than Glock .45s in the hands of children.



"The difference is, firearms are not inherently immoral," says Rev. Dan Ireland, executive director of the Alabama Citizens Action Program (ALCAP), a coalition of conservative Baptist preachers and activists who claim to serve as "Alabama's moral compass."

"There are moral ways and immoral ways to use a firearm," says Ireland, whose organization is clamoring for stringent enforcement of the dildo ban. "There is no moral way to use one of these devices."

Alabama's moral compass or Alabama's moralistic jackass? You make the call.

The sex toy ban, which has been in place since 1998, is supported by Alabama's conservative evangelical Christian (read: heavily Baptist) community.

"Sometimes you have to protect the public against themselves," said the good Rev. Ireland. (Or is that protect the pubic against itself?)

Note to Rev. Dan Ireland, executive director of the Alabama Citizens Action Program:

Fuck off, you obnoxious, Bible-thumping nitwit.

If you don't want to use sex toys, then don't use them. But don't tell other folks what to do in their bedrooms. Shitcan the self-righteousness.

Get a life, get some sex, or at least get an I.Q.

The good news is, Rev. Ireland plans to retire in March. The bad news is, his sucessor will undoubtedly be someone just as ignorant and probably younger and more energetic...

"The function of Theology? The recitation of the incomprehensible by the unspeakable to pick the pockets of the unthinking."

~ Robert Anton Wilson