All Together Now: A Marijuana Garden Is Not A 'Lab'

In an embarrassing display of Bad Journalism, the Miami New Times, one of the sister Village Voice Media blogs of my paying gig, Toke of the Town, has called marijuana gardens "labs."

That's right. Growing God's green plants from the earth now pretty much equals cooking up meth, boys and girls!

"Oh, it's just semantics," one of my friends said. Well... when "semantics" is used to justify locking people in cages for decades (you can get a life sentence for growing pot), then "semantics" becomes a problem.

I thought it was bad enough this week when a couple of yokel media outlets in my home state of Alabama called a marijuana grow room a "lab"... but to get this kind of fathomless stupidity from a supposedly "alternative weekly" just rankles.

Deeply clueless reporter Francisco Alvarado, in "Top Five Florida 420 Busts in 2010," a December 30, 2010 story in the Miami New Times helpfully tells us:

"Marijuana production is at an all-time high in Florida and so are grow house busts. The local, state and federal law enforcement weed eradication program has seen a 50 percent spike in the number of grow labs [emphasis added] in less than four years."

And now, having unbecomingly fallen for a simple-minded yet deceptive cop turn of phrase, he digs the hole deeper:

"It's easy pickings for Johnny Law when you think about it. Growers are stoners. They concoct hair[sic]-brained schemes to build impregnable Kush farms over multiple bowls of Fruit Loops after smoking some Super Lemon Haze."

Hey Francisco, why don't you just let the cops write the story for you? Way to reinforce 1970s pot stereotypes, man. Just so you know, we stoners enjoy those about as much as you must love colorful, "witty" Hispanic slurs.

So here's my comment to Francisco, made on the page of his trashy little article:

Francisco, marijuana gardens are not "labs."

This Orwellian phrase -- which tries to turn growing plants into something sinister and dangerous -- is not only dumb, it's just bad journalism. Quoting a cop calling a marijuana grow operation a "lab" is one thing.

But doing it yourself? That makes me doubt everything in your story.

As if THAT wasn't bad enough, you helpfully tell us that "growers are stoners" and imply that means they are too stupid to avoid getting busted.

Are you aware that most growers are never caught?

Unlike sloppy journalists, who get called on their very public mistakes.

Czech Republic Decriminalizes Cultivation Of Marijuana Starting Jan. 1

By Steve Elliott in Toke of the Town

Photo: Psychonaught

Five of these? Yes, please. (Super Silver Haze sativa/indica hybrid)

​​

The government of the Czech Republic in eastern Europe will allow ordinary citizens to grow up to five marijuana plants starting Jan. 1, 2010.

The cabinet of Prime Minister Jan Fischer defined "personal use" amounts of cannabis and other drugs, clarifying the nation's new penal code that will decriminalize cultivation and possession of pot.

While marijuana will remain technically illegal, possession will be punished only with fines comparable to those imposed for parking tickets, Sean Carney at the Wall Street Journal reports.

​What constituted "small amounts" for personal use was previously undefined. Police and the courts loosely interpreted the laws on a case by case basis, often resulting in home marijuana growers being jailed.

Photo: Reality Catcher

This is what 15 grams of pot looks like. If you have this much or less, you won't have to Czech yourself, starting Jan. 1.

According to the Justice Ministry's additional proposed rules, which according to Czech newspaper České Noviny are not yet formally approved, the possession of up to 15 grams (just over half an ounce) of dried marijuana will no longer be a criminal offense. Individuals will be also allowed to possess up to five grams of hashish without being prosecuted.

If the government accepts the ministry's proposed rules in two weeks, those having more than 15 grams of marijuana or five grams of hash could still face up to one year in prison.

Also allowed under section of the new rules already approved will be cultivation of up to five coca plants and five mescaline cactus. Up to 40 psilocybin "magic" mushrooms may be kept at home, according to the approved rules.

Even harder drugs are included in the decrim plan. According to a section of the proposal not yet officially approved, up to two grams of methamphetamine, cocaine and heroin will also be decriminalized. Possession of up to four Ecstasy tables won't be criminally punished.

Approval of a table specifying specific amounts of drugs is part of the country's new penal code, approved last year by both houses of Parliament and signed into law this year by President Vaclav Klaus.

Photo: Chmee2

Burning one down in the Czech Republic. Hempiest heads in Europe?

​Czechs are not only Europe's heaviest beer drinkers (320 pints per person per year), according to the Wall Street Journal; they may also be the continent's biggest potheads.

Almost one of four, 22 percent, of Czechs between 16 and 34 smoke marijuana at least once a year, according to a 2005 report by the European Monitoring Centre for Drugs and Drug Addiction.

Although the medical marijuana issue is gaining prominence in Europe and worldwide, the Czech Republic still doesn't recognize medical use of the herb. However, a Czech non-profit group in September opened the nation's first marijuana dispensary in Prague, despite there being no medical marijuana laws on the books.

The grand opening of the dispensary was attended by Prague's mayor, Dr. Pavel Bern, who is also a physician and proponent of responsible marijuana use.

Some Czech courts have occasionally made exemptions to current law to allow for medical use and cultivation of cannabis, but without supporting legislation such rules remain in limbo.

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