Corporations Profit From Human Misery

Another participant in an online discussion forum in which I participate posted this today:

"I disagree that corporations profit from treating people badly."

Which got me started.

My response?

I'm sure that will be vastly comforting news to the underpaid millions who work in sweatshops. Nobody's profiting, no sir!

There are going to be so many happy faces among those who have offered years of hard work and dedicated service, and are then shown the door due to "downsizing" and "reductions in force." That's just IMAGINARY bad treatment, brothers and sisters! You're lucky you ever got paid at all!

I'm sure the miners who have black lung, and the oil workers who have emphysema, cancer, lupus, liver problems, and asthma will breathe easier. There, now, doesn't the air taste sweeter, knowing that in truth, you've been treated just GRANDLY by your beneficent bosses!

Those eight union leaders in Coca-Cola's Colombian bottling plants who were shot down by management lackeys? Probably just a bunch of whiners, anyway. They were bad for profits, but they weren't really treated BADLY, would you say? It was just a frank exchange of ideas!

Yeah, and in India, those thousands of children, working in plants owned by Monsanto and other chemical giants? I'm sure they're gonna rest easier in their comfortable boxes tonight. They'll be mightily cheered, knowing that the CEO back in the good ol' U.S.A. doesn't profit, no sir, not one whit, from their misery. Their wheezing and crying sounds like a celebration!

Those women and children pulling down a fat nickel a day in China and Indonesia for producing sneakers are going to have big smiles on their faces, knowing that, woo hoo!, no fat-cat corporation profits from treating them badly. Good news, folks!

And let's not forget the 109,000 child laborers in the Ivory Coast who are responsible for most of the world's chocolate, and who receive sub-sub-standard wages, no health benefits, and a foot in the ass if they ever get sick? Why, now that they know Nestle doesn't REALLY profit from treating them badly -- 'cause you said so! -- those little fellows will be dancing in the streets tonight!

And I can only imagine the joyous throngs of workers at Wal-Mart! What wonderful news, folks! Your company really doesn't profit at all by denying you benefits, keeping you just under the threshold of hours that would require them to pay you decently. Let's have a party!